Humble Chateau For The Most Basic Needs…

OR NOT! I stumbled across this Quebec monster of a real estate listing today while doing my routine “dream of homes I’ll never have” hunt and wanted to share it with all you pretty little readers of mine. Usually homes of this size just have my attention because of the exterior architecture since the interiors are typically a little to la-di-da for my somewhat modest (and cheapskate) tastes but this had me impressed from beginning to end. It felt a lot more homey than the average gold trimmed highfalutin’ decor I’m use to seeing in these types of abodes. It’s still a touch on the extravagant side but it’s easy to see how it could be made into a warm cozy place to come home to. Try to guess-timate the listing price while you peruse the pictures and read what this French puppy is sporting under the hood. I’ll tell you the actual price at the end but first we’ll have some fun racking it up. 

First we’ll start with a tour of the exterior. This French Canadian home is a behemoth standing at 41,684 square feet. Built in 2004, it has 9 bedrooms and 9.5 bathrooms. Add at least another million to whatever number you had in your head for all that excess space and because it’s French and let’s face it, they’re fancy, non? And let’s keep going.

With Halloween approaching I can’t help but wonder, how do rich kids go trick or treating with all those gates and insanely long drive ways? Or is it too beneath them to take part in? If it feels like a triathlon to go trick or treating then you should add another million to your guess.

Add this to your price consideration too: buying this house gets you mountain and water views, electronic gated entry, automatic sprinklers, landscaped gardens, a swimming pool and hot tub, a guest house, a workshop, 3-car garage and underground parking. Yes, I said underground parking. And that’s just the exterior features! Throw a couple more million on that fire would ya?

 

Looks more like an eight car garage to me. I wonder which one takes you underground. I’d feel like Batman living in this house. I just need to hire my Alfred or at least someone open to the idea of me calling them Alfred. Anything that leaves you feeling like Batman deserves another million tacked on.

All I want to do when I see this staircase is race my friends down the stairs by sliding in sleeping bags and winter sleds. Home Alone anyone? Just another example of how I am more white trash then high class and should never live in this home. Add another million…

The listing tells us “the building consists of a main body and two wings. The main body features an elevator, a vast den facing the lake and the monumental staircase leading to the first floor. On the ground floor, the Western wing accommodates the immense dining room, the den, the kitchen & the dinette, and a large pool and spa with sliding doors opening onto the terraces and the lake. The Eastern wing houses an exceptional reception room with a separate entrance, a professional kitchen, a vast terrace, a garage, library, office, billiard room and the maid’s rooms. Immense tiered terraces go all the way down to the shore. Multiple terraces create a very elegant belvedere on the lake.”

The closest I’ll ever come to an elevator in my house is one of those chairs that takes you up and down the stairs when you get old. Any home that can say they have “wings” and not be talking about their pet parakeet deserves a few more million. Not to mention using the word belvedere. Sacrebleu! What are we at now? $9 million? $10? Let’s keep going.

Baguette et fromage anyone? Now that is what I call a light fixture. I hear another million calling in the distance...

The reading I could get done in a stunner like this I tell you! Libraries with ladders and spiral stairs=more $$$

Two way fish tanks are so neat. My rather pudgey cat would spend the better portion of her day brewing schemes as to how to get to these slippery suckers for lunch.

Where we at now? $17 mil? $18 mil? Don’t get too comfortable.

You can also expect to see a golf room, an exercise room, painting room (whatever that means!), a massage room, a nanny suite, a dressing room and a laundry room with 3 washers, 2 dryers and a chute. Did I mention this house comes fully furnished? Cha-ching $$$

Here’s a peak at the gourmet eat-in kitchen with granite counters and stainless steel appliances.

The games room complete with gas fireplace and swanky wood accents. The ceiling looks like le chocolat! $20….$25mil?

Of course there’s a wine cellar in a French home. Can you pass the cabernet sauvignon si vous plait? When will these random French words stop spewing from my mouth?

Nowhere in the listing did I read the words “ballroom” but I’m assuming that’s what this is. Or at least some form of party room. I guess you have carte blanche on this room. (Ok I admit I just wanted to work in one more French reference) May as well stick a few more million on that price tag.

So you think you got anywhere close to what this beast is gonna cost ya? I was actually surprised after reading all the crazy features that this house was only listed at $27 million dollars. It certainly isn’t pocket change but it still seemed reasonable considering. What do you think of this home? Share your likes, dislikes and general opinions, I love hearing them. If you would like to see more of this listing you can check it out on the Canadian MLS website. Au revoir! (last one, I promise!)